travel-as-a-happy-hippie:


So this is my Labradorite. She’s pretty.

travel-as-a-happy-hippie:

So this is my Labradorite. She’s pretty.

(via bunnybr0)

Some wise words from Dame Julie.

(Source: lejazzhot, via wilwheaton)

bisexual-books:

A truly lovely essay on coming out as bisexual with the help of Shiri Eisner’s Bi Notes for a Bisexual Revolution

(via bidyke)

zerothreat:

shockwaver:

I don’t agree that interpreting a gay man as bisexual is problematic because it’s forcing men on women’s time and emotions. I think that itself is a problematic way of viewing male bisexuality - and it’s something I’m sensitive to as a male bisexual.

I don’t see interpreting a lesbian character as bisexual to be inherently misogynistic, lesbophobic, or a trash move. I brought up the sexualization of bisexuality because it’s a biphobic interpretation that is most commonly directed towards women identified bisexuals by straight cis men - and it’s possible this mod falls into that category. That would be problematic because it’s reducing a sexuality to a fetish and is depressingly common. I would call such an interpretation of a character as biphobic, misogynistic, and lesbophobic (since the original character was a lesbian).

A mod, or a fanfiction that reinterprets a queer character as queer in another way is not the same as taking a queer character and making them straight (though of course context is everything - bisexuality defined through the lens of straight cis male fantasies is not the same thing as bisexuality defined through bisexuals who want to see people like them represented). The general feel that I’m getting from this comment is that people are equating turning a gay/lesbian character bisexual as the same as turning them straight. And that is problematic for a variety of reasons.

As for your last sentence - I’m not sure what you’re saying making a gay/lesbian character bisexual implies.

no offense but I think we might have found the root of the issue here xP

I see.

AS A MAN I DON’T THINK X Y AND Z ARE MISOGYNISTIC OR LESBOPHOBIC’ WELL THAT IS COOL AND UNPRECEDENTED

No offense but if that is the case then should you be discussing bisexuality at all?

And I guess it completely negates this paragraph:

A mod, or a fanfiction that reinterprets a queer character as queer in another way is not the same as taking a queer character and making them straight (though of course context is everything - bisexuality defined through the lens of straight cis male fantasies is not the same thing as bisexuality defined through bisexuals who want to see people like them represented). The general feel that I’m getting from this comment is that people are equating turning a gay/lesbian character bisexual as the same as turning them straight. And that is problematic for a variety of reasons.

But thank you for reinforcing that a lot of the L and G members of the LGBT acronym think the B doesn’t belong. 

(Source: wardenswatch)

zerothreat:

shockwaver:

autumnyte:

fluidfyre:

autumnyte:

wardenswatch:

[snip]

[snip]

[snip]

[snip] 

I think part of the issue was how the OP was worded. I’m not sure how someone is supposed to take “but you become a huge fucking asshole when you take a gay/lesbian character and try to recreate them as bisexual”.

The mod sounds like just a fantasy fulfillment mod - and I see the problematic aspects to that. There is a huge difference between the sexualization of bisexuality to fulfill straight fantasy and actual bisexual representation. I think if the original post had been more clear on that point I’d have been less concerned with it.

Speaking to the larger issue of representation..To me - taking a gay/lesbian character and headcanoning bisexuality isn’t reducing or removing ‘queer’ representation. It just reflecting a desire to see oneself in popular media. The same as when a gay or lesbian turns a straight character homosexual.

As for your last paragraph - these things should be handled thoughtfully. But mods (especially in fully voiced games) don’t give a person the tools to create a thoughtful story. I can understand how people would want to mod things so that they see themselves better represented - and how such efforts can be clumsy at best given the tools one is able to work with.

I know I’m sensitive to this topic because I see how anyone who is remotely bi (or even those that explicitly call themselves bisexual) are treated in the larger world. Day after day we see news organizations mislabling bi celebrities as gay. We see headlines like “Suchandsuch claims they are bi, despite being married”. We have people screaming that bisexuality is just a phase.. bi now - gay later.

It’s hard not to view things like this in that context.

seriously, changing a gay dude to be interested in women is bad in the sense that it’s unnecessary and then various ideas about the necessity of men taking up women’s time & emotions, but changing a lesbian to be interested in men is a misogynistic, lesbophobic, trash move (honestly that you only find the samantha mod an issue bc it ‘sexualises bisexuality’ demonstrates that a massive train of thought passed w/out you getting on)

we all desire to see ourselves but who you take from and what it implies in the process is something I’d implore you not to ignore, and certainly not to frame as oh gay ppl are more visible and hence more Privileged so changing their sexualities is no harm done

I don’t agree that interpreting a gay man as bisexual is problematic because it’s forcing men on women’s time and emotions. I think that itself is a problematic way of viewing male bisexuality - and it’s something I’m sensitive to as a male bisexual.

I don’t see interpreting a lesbian character as bisexual to be inherently misogynistic, lesbophobic, or a trash move. I brought up the sexualization of bisexuality because it’s a biphobic interpretation that is most commonly directed towards women identified bisexuals by straight cis men - and it’s possible this mod falls into that category. That would be problematic because it’s reducing a sexuality to a fetish and is depressingly common. I would call such an interpretation of a character as biphobic, misogynistic, and lesbophobic (since the original character was a lesbian).

A mod, or a fanfiction that reinterprets a queer character as queer in another way is not the same as taking a queer character and making them straight (though of course context is everything - bisexuality defined through the lens of straight cis male fantasies is not the same thing as bisexuality defined through bisexuals who want to see people like them represented). The general feel that I’m getting from this comment is that people are equating turning a gay/lesbian character bisexual as the same as turning them straight. And that is problematic for a variety of reasons.

As for your last sentence - I’m not sure what you’re saying making a gay/lesbian character bisexual implies.

autumnyte:

shockwaver:

autumnyte:

[snipping for length]

[snip]

A couple of points in response.

I think it’s important to make a distinction between private headcanons that a person keeps to themselves, and headcanons that they share publicly in fandom somehow (either via a game mod, via fic, via meta, etc). 

I can absolutely understand why someone might want to privately headcanon a gay/lesbian character as bisexual as a means of exploring or coming to terms with their own sexuality. And vice versa.

For me, the problem comes in when they decide to integrate that into a fic, or a mod, or something public which has the effect of erasing the character’s canon queer sexuality. 

Not all queer representation is equal and variety is important. Speaking as a pansexual person, when I see a gay or lesbian character in media, I’m thrilled but I don’t experience the same level of personal identification as when I see a bi/pan character. I’d imagine the reverse is true for many people. 

I certainly understand the sensitivity and frustration around biphobia and bi/pan erasure. The denial that we exist. The assertion that we are just gay or straight and confused/indecisive/in denial. It’s why I get my hackles raised when I see someone in fandom label a bisexual character as “gay” or “lesbian”. (It doesn’t raise my hackles as much as when those characters are called “straight”, but it’s still erasure, and it still rankles.) 

But likewise, gay and lesbian people face erasure of their own. They are often told that they just haven’t met the right person of a different gender yet. There are all sorts of harmful tropes romanticizing the concept of “turning” a gay/lesbian person. And that’s why taking one of the few gay/lesbian fictional characters out there and pairing them with a person of a different gender is harmful. It’s a form of erasure and a potential reinforcement of those homophobic notions. 

So, that’s basically where I’m coming from on this.

There is a point I’d like to address here regarding the public sharing aspect. I’m not a writer - so things like fanfics and mods are the only way I can see (in a physical sense) what ever representation the author has described. And there is also this feeling of.. there is someone out there that described something I experience in a way I experience it.. so I’m not alone.

I think sharing these things are important to building a community.

(Source: wardenswatch)

autumnyte:

fluidfyre:

autumnyte:

wardenswatch:

seriously people, if you want to change a straight character into a bisexual character er whatever that’s cool

but you become a huge fucking asshole when you take a gay/lesbian character and try to recreate them as bisexual

This x 1000. There is a vast difference between taking a straight or otherwise undefined character and interpreting them as queer and changing the sexuality of a canonically gay/lesbian character. 

Hint: one involves robbing already scarce representation from an oppressed, minority group and the other does not. 

I was composing a thoughtful reply, not aimed at any specific characters but just at the ideas of fluid sexuality and people discovering/finding new things about themselves at any stages of their life.

But mostly I’m just crushed. Because it’s okay for straight to be bi, but not gay to be bi?  I just… yeah. mostly just hurt and defeated. 

I’m sorry my post made you feel hurt and defeated.

To clarify—this commentary was in response to a mod someone created to romance Samantha Traynor in Mass Effect with a Male Shepard. As wardenswatch articulated in the tags of the OP, I doubt that the impetus there had anything to do with wanting thoughtful bisexual representation. Comments I’ve seen have been about making Sam “straight” or “she’s the only hot one I want to bang”. 

In real life, people do of course experience fluid sexuality, or come to understand that they are actually bi or pan after having considered themselves gay or straight. The reverse happens as well, where people go from identifying as bi to identifying as monosexual. This is not in any way intended as a criticism of any of those situations. 

However, with fictional, canonically queer characters, we enter a tricky realm because representation is so painfully scarce. Once you start playing in that pool and making changes, you are taking away characters from one underrepresented group to give to another. (And not just in making gay/lesbian characters bisexual, but in attempting to reinterpret bisexual characters as gay/lesbian.) 

I’m not saying it could never be done thoughtfully, but it would be difficult. And frankly, with so many straight or undefined characters out there to explore, I’d prefer that people don’t tinker with the handful of queer ones. The possible implications with regard to biphobia, lesbophobia, homophobia, and erasure from every direction are too numerous. 

I think part of the issue was how the OP was worded. I’m not sure how someone is supposed to take “but you become a huge fucking asshole when you take a gay/lesbian character and try to recreate them as bisexual”.

The mod sounds like just a fantasy fulfillment mod - and I see the problematic aspects to that. There is a huge difference between the sexualization of bisexuality to fulfill straight fantasy and actual bisexual representation. I think if the original post had been more clear on that point I’d have been less concerned with it.

Speaking to the larger issue of representation..To me - taking a gay/lesbian character and headcanoning bisexuality isn’t reducing or removing ‘queer’ representation. It just reflecting a desire to see oneself in popular media. The same as when a gay or lesbian turns a straight character homosexual.

As for your last paragraph - these things should be handled thoughtfully. But mods (especially in fully voiced games) don’t give a person the tools to create a thoughtful story. I can understand how people would want to mod things so that they see themselves better represented - and how such efforts can be clumsy at best given the tools one is able to work with.

I know I’m sensitive to this topic because I see how anyone who is remotely bi (or even those that explicitly call themselves bisexual) are treated in the larger world. Day after day we see news organizations mislabling bi celebrities as gay. We see headlines like “Suchandsuch claims they are bi, despite being married”. We have people screaming that bisexuality is just a phase.. bi now - gay later.

It’s hard not to view things like this in that context.

bisexual-community:

biles-bilinski-is-canon:

angrybisexual:

biles-bilinski-is-canon:

Posted this graphic on another blog about a year ago-people still don’t know about this, so I’m reposting again here. Whatever your sexuality (or lack of sexuality) is, you are not alone. :)

It does merit to point out that bisexuals are a far more closeted population, so this is entirely consistent with people “never having met” a bisexual.

When people tell me “I’ve never met a bisexual” I’m like, "yes, yes you have. Just because they didn’t tell you doesn’t mean they aren’t there.” 
Bisexuals are everywhere-but I think a lot of bisexuals don’t know we are everywhere. That’s who I was mostly thinking about posting this graphic-while I love to rub it in the faces of biphobes that, “haha, we do exist!” I mostly post things like this for bisexuals. 
When I was 13 years old, I happened across a book that explained what bisexuality was and that 1 in 10 people had experienced same-gender attraction (I actually think it’s higher than that, but). That was how I found out that I was bi. I actually thought I was the only not-gay, not-straight person in the world. That book, that one small section on bisexuality, is why I am where I am today. (It was a similar experience with my gender identity and the book Luna by Julie Anne Peters.)
While it is so so painful to have to reassert ourselves and our identities over and over to monosexists who don’t believe we exist, what I really hope is that some bisexual person, who may not even know they are bisexual yet, hears from us that they are real, their identity is valid, and that they are not alone. :)

note: emphasis added

bisexual-community:

biles-bilinski-is-canon:

angrybisexual:

biles-bilinski-is-canon:

Posted this graphic on another blog about a year ago-people still don’t know about this, so I’m reposting again here. Whatever your sexuality (or lack of sexuality) is, you are not alone. :)

It does merit to point out that bisexuals are a far more closeted population, so this is entirely consistent with people “never having met” a bisexual.

When people tell me “I’ve never met a bisexual” I’m like, "yes, yes you have. Just because they didn’t tell you doesn’t mean they aren’t there.” 

Bisexuals are everywhere-but I think a lot of bisexuals don’t know we are everywhere. That’s who I was mostly thinking about posting this graphic-while I love to rub it in the faces of biphobes that, “haha, we do exist!” I mostly post things like this for bisexuals

When I was 13 years old, I happened across a book that explained what bisexuality was and that 1 in 10 people had experienced same-gender attraction (I actually think it’s higher than that, but). That was how I found out that I was bi. I actually thought I was the only not-gay, not-straight person in the world. That book, that one small section on bisexuality, is why I am where I am today. (It was a similar experience with my gender identity and the book Luna by Julie Anne Peters.)

While it is so so painful to have to reassert ourselves and our identities over and over to monosexists who don’t believe we exist, what I really hope is that some bisexual person, who may not even know they are bisexual yet, hears from us that they are real, their identity is valid, and that they are not alone. :)

note: emphasis added

(via bialogue-group)

Tom Daley clarifies his sexuality! Or does he?

image

So, the buzz in the LGTBQ* world seems to be that Tom Daley finally came out and said that he was Gay and not Bisexual. I mean, just look at these headlines:

Tom Daley: I’m definitely gay not bisexual

Tom Daley Isn’t Bisexual: “I Am a Gay Man Now”

Breaking: Tom Daley is now gay – and yep, that means he doesn’t fancy girls anymore

And literally hundreds more. Sounds pretty cut and dry doesn’t it? I mean, he’s quoted as saying “I am a Gay Man Now”!

I can’t embed the clip but - Here’s the video of what happened on a British show that all these headlines are coming from.

It happens within the first 5 seconds - the host asks Tom Daley point blank if he’s a “Gay man now” (his words). And Tom Daley responds with “I am”. Or what sounds reasonably close to “I am”.. it also kind of sounds like “I uhh..” because he’s laughing somewhat nervously.

Maybe I’m just nitpicking here but “I am” in response to an out of the blue question on TV in front of a studio audience is a far cry from “I am a gay man now” - or him saying that he still fancies girls in a youtube video in his own words. It just seems like half the media was admonishing everyone (well, bisexuals) for calling him bisexual when he didn’t use any label himself - but now are flipping their collective shit about how he’s Gay because he responded in the affirmative (maybe) to a direct yes or no question.

I know I’m sensitive to this but it seemed like bisexuals got a bit of a representation (of a man no less) from a popular figure. And through it all there were shouts of “He’s just gay and doesn’t want to admit it!” and “Why do we need to label everything!!” (which curiously seems to only come up for labels people are uncomfortable with. No one seems to care if someone is labeled Gay or Straight). Now this is being pounced on as further proof that bi men are just gay men who can’t come out of the closet. Near as I can tell the people who were screaming about not assigning a label he hasn’t claimed yet should be yelling just as loudly here. But I don’t see much of that - just a lot of “I told you so”.

Is this just another in a long line of “(celebrity) claims they are bi, despite being married to a (gender)” or outright ignoring celebrities who’ve said they are bisexual by just labeling them allies, or gay? Or am I completely overreacting here? We get told that bisexuals don’t have any community (like Gays and Lesbians) and that maybe we should stop using that word. But it’s kind of hard to build up community in the public eye when prominent figures are dismissed when they come out.

(Source: rosityler, via caramelkite)